Pairings: main pairing is 6+2+D (it will eventually become 6x2xD), 1x3, 4x5, past 13x6, future 13+Solo.
Warnings: Mostly AU (if that last pairing didn't give it away). I took a lot of liberties with the timeline. The war lasted over two years, and Endless Waltz never happened. supernatural, yaoi, angst, swearing. Slightly OOC Duo thanks to the joys of sleep deprivation.
Rating: R
Authors notes/disclaimers: this was my first fic in the GW universe. It is labeled AU for a reason, since my version of events during the war will differ quite a bit from canon. I don't own the characters and I am certainly not making any money off of them.
Also, just to save confusion from here on out, Epyon's speech will be bolded and the life-impaired will speak like 'this'
Summary: Sometimes enemies are the best friends you can have.
The colors were wrong. He stepped into the pool of light, where the stained glass window normally threw a kaleidoscope of bright reds and blues, green and yellow. But now the only color he could see was dark red, pooling in uneven blotches and stains against what had been a pale wood floor. Sister Helen was so proud of that floor.... The thought shook him, and for a moment, the world wavered.
"Sister?" His voice sounded odd, young and thin with fright. "S-sister? Where are you?"
Don't wanna go there, his mind insisted over and over. Don't wanna see again.... But wishes were useless here in the ruined church, and he already knew what he was going to find.
"No..." But when he stepped across the threshold, the church suddenly changed into a school. Despite the shift in scenery, the stains were still on the floor, and he stepped around them carefully. This time the bodies were much less familiar, if no less heartbreaking. They're so...small. Just like my brothers and sisters were.
He moved through the empty halls, not sure what he was looking for. Until he found the last body, the one that had brought the nightmare back to him. The Nun was curled around one of her students, protectively shielding the girl with her body. He crouched down, and tried to pull the woman's arms away. The girl whimpered....
The world around him shuddered again, then splintered apart as he sat up abruptly.
Dammit. Rubbing one hand across his face, he glanced at the clock. Two a.m. He sighed, realizing with a start that his other hand was clenched tightly around the cross that Sister Helen had given him as she died. It took a moment to get his fingers to relax enough to let go of it, and he frowned down at the imprint on his palm.
"What the hell was I thinking, even bothering to go to bed?" The sound of his own voice rasped harshly in his ears as he rubbed his eyes again; grimacing at the gritty feel. "Might as well get up... I'm not gonna sleep again tonight."
There was no answer, just the deafening silence of the empty apartment. Throwing off the confining covers, he padded out of the bedroom towards the kitchen. He caught a glimpse of movement out of one eye, and found himself crouched protectively in the hall; reaching with one shaking hand for the gun he wasn't wearing. His own face stared at him wide-eyed from the mirror. He grimaced at himself, then sighed and straightened up.
"Guess it's a good thing the guys can't see me now...." He started to turn the mirror to face the wall, not wanting to see the desolate loneliness in his own eyes; then thought better of it and just took the damned thing down and shut it in the hall closet. "I just need coffee...."
Instead of filling the silence, his voice just seemed to make it more noticeable. With a shiver, he finished the short trip to the kitchen. A fruitless search of the cabinets turned up coffee filters, but no coffee. He frowned, then glanced into the trashcan.
"Dammit..." The empty coffee can seemed to mock him as it rested at the bottom of the bin. "Just my luck...."
He opened the fridge, but the only things to greet him were a rubbery onion that had obviously been there for awhile, and a lumpy substance he eventually identified as having once been Chinese takeout. "Ok... guess I need to buy food today too... and coffee." Slamming the fridge again, he shook his head and headed back for the bathroom. "Maybe I'll just grab breakfast on the way to work."
Less than an hour later, he found himself standing inside the office he shared with Zechs Merquise; clutching a cup of extra-strong, two-day-old coffee, and a stale donut. Zechs blinked at him in surprise over the top of his computer monitor.
"Aren't you here kind of early?" Zechs asked curiously.
"I could ask you that too..." Duo threw himself into his own chair and booted up the computer.
"I didn't go home last night." Zechs shrugged, looking as though he really didn't want to talk about why.
"I wish I hadn't..." Duo muttered.
"I heard about the school shooting," Zechs murmured softly. "I thought Dr. Po told you to take a few days off...."
"I don't want to talk about it," Duo gritted his teeth, and proceeded to ignore his officemate as he logged onto the network. "Shit... sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you... It...um...brought back a lot of crap from before the war...."
Zechs just nodded. Neither of them spoke again. The silence wasn't exactly comfortable, but it wasn't unusual either. They had been sharing an office for two months now, but Zechs was in the field so much, they were rarely ever there at the same time. He had a feeling that it wasn't actually him that the tall blond was trying to avoid, but everyone in the building. Not that that was really a surprise, he mused thoughtfully as he logged in. Despite the fact that a year had passed since the end of the war, Zechs was still regarded with suspicion even by his fellow Preventers. No one wanted to spend a lot of time around someone who tried to blow up the world. He glanced up at Zechs thoughtfully as the tall blond shut down his computer and stood up.
"Heading home?"
"No," Zechs shrugged. "I'm relieving Connor and Berg on a stakeout."
"Oh." Duo wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed when the older man left. "Damn... I hate being alone."
With a sigh, he powered down the computer and gathered up his coat. Taking a moment to plaster his normal, devil-may-care smile back on, he stepped out of the small office. Everything is fine, everything is normal... nothing to see here....
The litany didn't help as much as he had hoped. God, if Zechs can see I'm rattled, I must look like hell. Granted, he only sees me in the middle of the night. Duo had shown up after midnight the last three nights since the school shooting, and each time the tall blond was still sitting at his computer. However he always left the office before the dayshift arrived. Shutting off the lights out of habit, he glanced up to see Quatre standing in the hall outside the office that he and Chang Wufei shared.
"Hey Quatre!" He greeted his friend, pleased that he managed to sound cheerful and not too pathetic. "You and Chang have plans tonight? I thought maybe we could grab some burgers and shoot some pool or something...." He had tried not to intrude upon their new relationship, but being alone was starting to drive him insane.
"Hi Duo," Quatre smiled distractedly at him before glancing at his watch again. "Sorry. But we have tickets to the Symphony tonight."
"Oh. That's cool."
"Wufei... hurry up." Quatre called impatiently back into the office. "We're going to be late..."
"Coming...."
"Without you? How fair is that...?" The joke forced itself past the disappointment that Duo refused to show.
"Duo!" His blond friend turned bright red.
"Sorry, Quat. Couldn't resist," Duo shook his head. "You two are just so cute."
"Cute?" Chang growled, pulling on a tailored jacket as he stepped out of the office. "We are not 'cute' Maxwell."
For the first time, Duo realized that Quatre was dressed in fancy clothing too. Not that that's unusual for him. The thought amused him. I think he'd die if he had to wear jeans for some reason.
"Sure, Wu."
"Maxwell...." "Duo..." They said in stereo, both glaring at him.
"Jeez guys. It was a joke." He turned away. "Have fun at the Opera...."
"Symphony...."
"Yeah, yeah...." He wandered down the hall slowly.
It hadn't really been that surprising that the two of them had hooked up. Well, Wufei admitting that he wanted to have sex with anyone was kind of a shock... but he and Quatre had the same background, and interests. Duo had been more worried that Trowa would be upset, since it had looked for a long time as if he and Quat were an item. To Duo's relief, Trowa turned out to be almost relieved. But maybe that was just 'cause he and Heero didn't have to sneak around any more. This time the voice was a little more bitter than mocking. And they do make a cute couple too. A silent one, but cute.
Turning the corner, he grinned as he saw one of the two objects of his thoughts stepping out into the hall. Speak of the devil....
"Heya, Heero."
"Duo." Heero's voice, while his usual monotone, managed to sound more wary than happy.
"You and Tro wanna shoot some pool?"
Heero shook his head, which was more of a response than Duo normally got. "He just got back from a rough mission and went home already."
"Oh. Is he okay?"
Heero shrugged uncomfortably. "Fine." Which meant he wasn't and that Heero was worried.
"Anything I can do to help?"
"No." Once upon a time the blunt dismissal would have simply challenged Duo to try and force the other man to accept his company. But it had been three years since they'd all first met, and Duo had gotten a headache from beating his head against that particular wall. Not to mention that it quickly became obvious that not only does he not like me, he would rather spend time in a coma than have some fun. At least he only avoids me now, rather than threatening to kill me. Stifling another sigh, he watched as Heero brushed past him and towards the exit.
"Tell Tro I said 'hey'."
Heero nodded, but didn't turn around or speak again. Okay. Four for four don't want to have anything to do with me. Should I be paranoid now?
Be fair. The little voice in the back of his mind had lost the mocking tone. They aren't avoiding you... they just don't have much free time, and when they do, you aren't the one they want to spend it with. It was, he had to admit grudgingly, true. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt to always be the one that's alone. Once upon a time, Quatre was the only one who might admit he didn't want to be alone. The others were so sure that actual human contact would kill them. And now look at them. His determinedly cheerful smile drooped a little. All happily together. With each other.
He debated going home, to his quiet little apartment, and found himself heading back to his office again. Ah well. Might as well get caught up on the rest of the paperwork.