White | Silver | Black
Every endless night
Has a dawning day
"She looked luminescent that day," Mill says, his eyes glued to the TV documentary. He points the remote and presses the mute button. "At least she does there. I didn't notice..." His throat goes dry when he realises that it was also the last time he had spoken to her. "I'll call her tomorrow..." The words, spoken aloud, startle him into silence. Callused fingers comb through his hair from ear to nape and he turns to the man guiding his head to awaiting lips.
By the time Duo needs to surface for air, blond tresses are spilling over his thigh and the half-naked prince is flat on his back. "Remember this?"
"Yes." Pale blue eyes dance above a slight, dreamy smile. "You changed my life that day." He reaches up for the chestnut braid lying on his chest. Holding its end in both hands as he has often seen Duo do, he asks, "Did he put you up to it?"
Every darkest sky
Has a shining ray
Duo's sharp intake of breath makes the answer clear.
"I understand."
Wrapping his own hands around those clutching his braid, Duo holds fast. "No, you don't. He didn't know what to do and wanted some help. Q with his space-heart couldn't figure out what to do with you. So, what's he do? He asks his best buddy and pal." He kisses the white knuckles between his fingers. "What I found out from you that night.... I was so mad at him, at them both for just going ahead and assuming..." He pauses for a few deep, calming breaths. "I meant everything I said that night, every promise I've made. Everything I've done since has only been for you." Bending down to the head on his lap, he claims the returning smile.
"My very own black knight," is the eventual breathless whisper.
"And don't you ever doubt it." Duo takes his time savouring the offered depths of his prince's mouth, their hands slowly releasing his braid, fingers twining together.
And it shines on you
Baby can't you see
You're the only one
Who can shine for me
"Thank you..." Mill says, deciding to talk to his brother-in-law on the morrow as well. "I would never have imagined feeling this way last year." He reaches up to cup Duo's cheek, his thumb tracing the lower lip. "I wouldn't have imagined feeling at all. Do you still miss him?"
"Huh?" Violet eyes blink in confusion as Duo drags his attention back to the conversation, away from the caress.
"Heero..."
"Mmnhn," Duo replies around the thumb in his mouth. He closes his eyes and allows this man's presence to permeate his being. His free hand tangling in the soft silk on his lap.
Mill frowns but lets it pass. "I still miss... he still haunts my dreams..." He lowers his hand and reaches again for the braid.
"I know." Duo smiles, watching the tip of his pride and joy brush a pale chin. "But what are you feeling right now?"
Ice blue eyes darken and spark with something akin to passion when the prone man says, "Kiss me some more."
Duo complies as bright patterns bloom across the TV screen, lighting the televised night sky with sparks and colour.
It's a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me
Duo's T-shirt slips from Mill's lax fingers to the floor. "It's been six months," he says quietly as the younger man nibbles on his ear. "I'm sorry to have kept you from your life for so long."
"There's nothing there that can't go on without me," is the murmured assurance between playful nips on his neck. "Besides..." Duo shifts to look at the blond squarely in the eye. "I've enjoyed every minute of it."
"Every minute?" A platinum eyebrow arches up. "Even the tantrums and the shakes?"
"You don't have tantrums," Duo says, rubbing their noses together. "You sulk." He licks the recently rubbed nose. "And yes, every minute."
"Don't you want to go back to your life?" Mill's hand splays over a taut abdomen, pushing the younger man upright.
The exgundam-pilot straightens and looks at the handsome face on his lap, catching the clouded gaze with his own. "Why are you asking?"
"I don't want to go back to mine," Mill confesses. "I don't want to be alone again."
When your soul is tired
And your heart is weak
Do you think of love
As a one way street
"My life after the wars wasn't very exciting. I spent most of my time sorting through space junk and waiting for Heero. He's not on my list of things-to-do anymore and Hilde has the junkyard under control," Duo explains, his fingertips drawing circles on Mill's bare chest. "So, I don't have anywhere to be except with you."
"Why isn't he on your things-to-do anymore?" the prone blond asks.
"Why the sudden fascination with Heero?" Duo counters, his thumb lightly brushing an exposed nipple. He smiles at the immediate reaction and gasp.
Mill captures the wandering hand with his own, tangling their fingers. "He's the love of your life, isn't he?"
"Was..." Duo reminds the apparently forgetful prince. "He had other more important things to do, other more important places to be, and I got tired of waiting for him," he explains. "You haven't answered my question."
"Treize is dead," Mill states tonelessly. "I can't try for a reconciliation with him, even if I wanted to. Heero isn't..." He pauses for a few deep breaths before continuing. "You could kiss and make up."
Placing a cushion against the armrest of the couch, Duo uses their joined hands to pull Mill upright. "Why would you want me to kiss and make up with him?" he asks, getting comfortably horizontal before spreading his legs and opening up his arms. He wriggles his eyebrows in an exaggerated come-hither look.
A low, breathy chuckle rumbles from Mill's throat as he settles into position with his head on Duo's shoulder. "I want you to be happy," he says, sighing when legs wrap themselves around his denim-clad hips and hands gently rub his back. "As long as he's alive, it's not too late."
Duo blows a blond fringe out of the way and plants a solid kiss on the exposed forehead. "Why do you think that making up with Heero will make me happy?"
"Wouldn't it, after all you went through together?" Mill asks. He tilts his face, bringing his lips to the juncture between a long neck and shoulder.
The gently suckling on his skin sends a tremor down Duo's spine. "I can cling with the best," he explains, "but he didn't do 'cling' very well. So, I kept letting him go and eventually he never came back." He struggles to keep his breathing even. "Kissing and making up is not an option, 'cause he won't stay and I'm not gonna keep waiting."
Well it runs both ways
Open up your eyes
Can't you see me here
How can you deny
"Don't you think that..." Duo abandons all attempt at controlling his reactions and throws his head back to allow Mill greater access to his neck. "Maybe..." he gasps, "I can be happy with someone else?" Their hips begin a slow, rhythmic rocking. "Ever think that maybe you could be, too?"
Mill lifts his head. "I think I could, but I don't have a choice." He trails his tongue upwards from shoulder to chin. "You do," he says, kissing his way back down. "Are you sure you're making the right one?" The suckling resumes.
"It's a choice I don't have to make." Duo whimpers when fingers trace the flesh above his waistband. "Even if I go home anytime soon, he's not going to be there, and if he was, he can do the waiting for a change or he can come looking for me." His eyes close as his hand dips to the small of Mill's back and slides under fabric to cup a tense buttock. "Right here, right now, I have you to take care of." He gently squeezes and pulls their groins closer together. "Do you have any idea how happy that makes me?" The pace of their rocking increases.
The blond stops his ministrations only long enough to moan, "No..."
Duo thrusts his hips upward with each syllable he utters. "Happier than you can imagine."
Raising his head, Mill presses down, stopping their movement. "I can't imagine making anyone happy," he breathes into Duo's ear.
Violet eyes spring open and Duo sighs, forcing his body to relax. Both his arms embrace slightly trembling shoulders. "I bet you'll make Relena happy when you call her tomorrow."
"She doesn't count," Mill pouts before returning his head to its appointed place on Duo's shoulder. Their laboured breathing slowly returns to normal.
"Why not?"
Mill pulls idly at a belt-loop. "She's my sister," he says. "She's supposed to be happy to see me."
"From what I've heard, that wasn't always the case," Duo murmurs, running his fingers through platinum tresses.
"She didn't like Zechs," Mill grumbles, replacing his mouth over the bruise he had been nurturing.
Duo feels his heart start to race again. "And Zechs wasn't who you were?"
The blond prince doesn't reply as his hips begin rocking them both once more.
It's a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me
"You still haven't answered my original question," Duo says, returning from the bathroom with a damp hand towel. He pulls off Mill's jeans and drops them on the floor beside his own.
"Hmm?" The naked man on the couch struggles to stay awake as he is gently wiped clean of sweat and semen.
"What are you feeling right now that you couldn't have imagined feeling last year?" Duo prompts, pulling the boneless body upright. "Bed," he growls. "I'm not sleeping on the couch with you."
"It's hard to describe," Mill mumbles, stumbling the few paces to the bed.
Duo picks up their soiled jeans from the floor and stuffs them into the laundry bag. "Try," he orders.
Every endless night
Has a dawning day
Every darkest sky
Has a shining ray
"I feel contented, safe... cherished..." Turning onto his back to stare at the ceiling, Mill's breath catches in his throat. "I haven't felt contented since..." He stops and swallows. "Since... You do that for me." He pushes himself up onto his elbows to look at the gloriously naked man wandering around the room. "I've been noticing it a lot, lately. Sometimes," he pauses, waiting for violet eyes to fix on his face, "I'm almost happy."
Duo tilts his head to the side, brows furrowing. "But not tonight?" he hazards a guess.
"Tonight, I want... I want..." Ice blue eyes lose their focus as Mill chooses his words. "Tonight, I want to know that you could be happy, too."
"What you want is not how you feel," Duo calmly points out. "Besides," he shrugs, "I am happy. I'm happier than I've been in a long time." He bounces onto the bed and draws his baby into his arms.
"But don't you miss him?" Mill asks, pulling the covers over them both.
Blinking at the odd return of the conversation, Duo concludes, "We're not talking about the same kinda 'happy' are we?"
The blond yawns and snuggles down into his chosen pillow. "What kind of 'happy' are you talking about?"
"Smiley face kinda 'happy'," Duo tells the sleepy prince moulded to his side.
"Oh..." Mill grunts, not bothering to open his eyes. "I guess we're not."
It takes a lot to laugh
As your tears go by
But you can find me here
Till your tears run dry
"So... what kinda 'happy' are you talking about?" Duo asks, brushing the tip of his braid up and down the arm draped over his chest.
"The way I'm happy..." Mill opens his eyes and looks into the expectant violet gaze. "Well, almost. The way I thought I could only be happy with Treize. The way I've only been able to dream of being happy since he died, except that I sometimes almost feel it when I'm awake, but only when I'm with you."
"Oh, that kind of happy." Duo can't help the wide grin spreading across his face, his heart soaring. "Almost, huh?"
Mill nods, bright red colour creeping up his cheeks.
"I know I can be that kinda happy with you." Duo winks, leaning forward to kiss the tip of an aristocratic nose.
"You can?" the two words are barely a whisper.
Duo wriggles down so that they are face to face. "You betcha I can," he says, holding the pale gaze with his own until he can see the acknowledgement of his words there.
Sighing, Mill says, "I'm glad."
"You do realise that you're never gonna get rid of me now." Duo turns off the bedside light and plunges the motel room into darkness. "I did say that I do 'cling' very well," he reminds the man in his arms.
"I like cling," is the rather breathless agreement. "Happy New Year."
"And a Happy New Year to you, too."
It's a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me
"Duo?"
"Yeah, babe?"
"We missed the fireworks."
"Nevermind, there's always next year."
The End