White | Silver | Black
This is a very little piece, my first and only fic, don't worry. It was something that stuck in my mind and I needed to get it OUT!!! So here it is...
Thanks to Ashkara for the encouraging words... and to Christy for both the kind words and the beta ^_~.
I woke up early this morning... the same nightmares again.
It has been years since I was this terrified little boy and still, these nightmares have the capacity to reduce me to silent tears. I can remember the fear, taste the utter loneliness of my childhood.
I want so much to leave these memories behind... for them to lose their ability to destroy my peace of mind, my hard-won happiness.
Opening my eyes, I turn my head on the pillow. In the darkness of our bedroom, I can barely see his face, so peaceful in sleep. He's frowning, tickled by a few stray hair falling across his brow. I smile and push them back. It's too early for him to wake up yet. He does not have nightmares to keep him awake.
Quietly, I leave our bed and go to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror, at my eyes still haunted by the lingering remnants of the dream... then I look at it.
IT...
The one and only thing I ever had that was MINE; that reminded me of people I loved and lost... a lifetime of memories braided in my hair.
Memories I want to leave behind but that keep on following me everywhere, haunting me... the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I do at night... A lifetime of brushing it, washing it, braiding it.
He loves my hair, I know it.
But I hate it, I have hated it for so long.
It was my anchor during the wars, helping me find the courage to fight instead of running away when things were rough and I was scared. But the wars are long over. We have had peace now for many years and we are still working to protect it. But I can't seem to really leave the past behind and live for the future while IT still hangs around, touching me every minute of the day.
I have been thinking about it a lot recently. Probably the reason the nightmares are so frequent.
Slowly, I open the drawer. I put them there nearly two months ago. I see them every time I look for my brush, but haven't found the courage yet to take them in my hands; to use them the way they are made to be used, the way I want... the way I NEED them to be used. To save my sanity... to put the memories to rest.
Strong arms around my waist. I look in the mirror again, see his reflection behind me. He knows.
I need to do this. For us, for our future. But can he understand? He loves my hair...
Without a word, our eyes still locked in the mirror, he is reaching for the scissors, taking them out. My hands start the task of unbraiding my hair while I feel tears starting to roll down my cheeks. I let them.
He cuts the first strand and it coils on the bathroom tiles. The tears are falling so hard I can barely see. But he understands. His love is so strong that he can do it, for both of us, while I cry for the last time over a lifetime of pain and loss.
Because my hair is a lie. I have him and I have friends. I don't need sad memories of loneliness anymore, not when my life is good now.
Rest in peace, my braid.
--- Fin ---
Note:
While I did not identify Duo's lover, I have written it with my 3 favorite partners for Duo in mind, so take your pick ^_^ (Heero, Wufei, Zechs).
And please don't kill me... I ADORE, I'm OBSESSED with Duo's hair/braid. But I also feel it's part of his past and he must get rid of it to look forward to the future... (but I think he would let it grow back afterwards, just never as long and would probably not braid it).