Disclaimer: The characters belong to Sotsu, Sunrise, Bandai Entertainment, I neither claim them nor certainly make any money off them!
Pairing: 6x2
Rating: Lemony in places
Time Setting: Post-series, three years later (minus events in Ground Zero, Blind Target, Endless Waltz as when I started this, I hadn't seen or read about these yet)
Summary: A chance meeting leads to the recovery of a wounded heart.
Once inside the restaurant, Duo blew his breath out in satisfaction. "Nice in here," he murmured, referring to the temperature more than the decor. He bounced a little on the balls of his feet.
[What a dancer he could have been,] Zechs couldn't help thinking. Smoothly he took over, asking the hostess for a table in a discrete location so they - rather, *he* - would not draw too much attention to themselves. The hostess looked upon Duo with slight disapproval, but led him and Zechs to the back of the restaurant to a table partially hidden by a large potted plant. Duo wrinkled his nose at it, frowning.
"Something wrong, Duo?" Zechs asked mildly.
[He's not going to jump me or anything,] Duo told himself, dismissing his nervousness. [But, you know, I really don't know the guy! What if he started coming on to me?] Well, that wasn't so hard to answer. Duo had to admit that Zechs Merquise was a beautiful, hot specimen of masculinity - he'd have had to be blind not to see it, and he'd been around him long enough now to see the charisma that flowed from the man. Zechs was potent, all right, though Duo had to laugh at himself - there was no way in hell the man could be interested in a scrawny little street rat like himself!
He shrugged in his usual, exaggerated fashion. "Nah, this is fine." But he took a seat on the outside. When the waiter asked about drink orders, he was about to ask for a cola, but Zechs was ordering wine. Not the house wine, either, but asking for something specific by name.
A few minutes later, after the waiter had poured the wine and taken their orders, Duo was feeling strange. [What am I doing here... with *him*? Shit, I don't belong here, I don't belong with him...] He fidgeted in his chair, wishing fervently they'd just gone to his place and ordered a pizza. Or not... surely Zechs would look down his aristocratic nose at Duo's little dump of an apartment. "Why did you want to take me out to dinner?" he blurted out suddenly.
The ice-blue eyes looked intently into his. "I haven't talked to another Gundam pilot since the war," Zechs murmured. "I haven't talked to anyone who was actually in the war, in fact, as no one in White Fang who is left seems to want to have anything to do with their former commander... and I don't blame them... and of course no one who was in OZ wants to have anything to do with the former Lightning Count..." The self-derision was back in his voice. "I was supposed to have died in that explosion of Epyon, Duo Maxwell, but I did not. Unfortunately, I find I cannot take my own life. So... I exist. Meeting you is becoming a momentary relief from my day to day life, which, while it has its rewards, is stressful and often difficult. I suppose I deserve no less."
Duo stared back at him, wide-eyed. "What... what do you do, then?" There was something here that was going to take him by surprise, he was sure. He could feel it, the sorrow pouring from this man. [And he didn't mention Noin - and I sure as hell ain't bringing her up.]
The beautiful eyes closed briefly, white lashes shuttering them again. "I have been slowly working myself through the colonies, building orphanages and housing for those displaced and abandoned in the war. Except, of course, in the L4 Cluster. The Winners have refused my help."
Duo felt a hard twinge deep in his heart and gut at the admission. Orphanages! [He's doing what no one did for us after the Alliance forces took over the colonies,] he realized, abashed. [This is what he feels he must do to repay the colonies for his sins. Oh, God... ] Duo thought unwillingly of the savage destruction that Zechs in the Epyon had committed upon the OZ Fortress Space Barge, killing hundreds of soldiers in a matter of seconds as the powerful beam saber opened the huge space vessel like a tin can. Committed in the name of the White Fang... and the colonies.
"I... I was an orphan... after the Alliance Forces took over," Duo stammered, not knowing what else to say.
"So was I," Zechs said wholly unexpectedly.
Duo was rocked to the core of his being. "You? You were an orphan? But... weren't you a prince or something? I mean, you're rich, you're an aristocrat, you're..."
Zechs leaned forward, placing light fingertips on Duo's shoulder. "When I was six years old, the Alliance forces swept through and took over the Sank Kingdom... murdering the King in front of me, killing many others. My sister was taken in by the Dorlan family, who had been highly placed retainers - they also managed the family assets, of which I am now the primary beneficiary. But as for myself... " He paused and lowered his gaze, frowning. "I was shuffled from boarding school to boarding school until I was eleven and could enter the OZ Academy. It was my intent to someday be in a position to kill the Alliance general responsible for my kingdom's demise and the death of my father."
But before Duo could respond to this remarkable tale, the fingertips withdrew and Zechs hastily took a sip of wine. "Forgive me, you're not interested in any of that. Suffice it to say that I feel a drive within me to give back something of what I've taken from the colonies."
Duo suddenly heard himself retort hotly, "You didn't take from the colonies, you were fighting for their independence!" Then he subsided and added, "OZ should be taking care of orphans..."
"No," Zechs interrupted firmly. "If I had not been so bent on my own agenda, I could have wielded more power within OZ myself to stop what was happening in outer space much earlier."
They fell silent, then, as the waiter brought salads and refreshed their drinks. The silence continued until they were halfway through their salad course. Duo spoke up, a bit shyly. "It's an honorable thing you are doing, Zechs. But you must be very lonely. You have purpose in your life, but it's all directed outward and dwells on the past. What about the future?"
"I have no other future," Zechs murmured, setting down his fork. "I deserve none other."
Duo stared at the sorrowed man, feeling a powerful ache deep in his heart. [And here I though my life was miserable... shit!] He didn't understand entirely what he was feeling, but Duo Maxwell was used to living as he piloted Gundams - hard and fast. "You're doing a good thing with the orphanages and housing, Zechs - you're saving your soul that way, I think. But if it's any consolation, I know what you're feeling. You feel like I do - helpless to let peace settle into your heart, helpless to leave behind the violence. And you know what, Zechs? I've come to believe that alone we're never going to change that." He dove back into his salad, wondering himself exactly what he meant by that.
"Alone... yes. I am alone..." Zechs raised his beautiful pale blue eyes again to look at his companion. [He is like me... an orphan, his loving family ripped away from him at an early age. He, too, is alone, this energetic, hungry little angel...]
Duo stopped eating suddenly, caught by the other's gaze. [He has the most *amazing* eyes,] he noted, wondering. [They're like crystals. Huh, I'd have thought a guy with his looks would have no trouble attracting someone... unless he's kept them away on purpose. Heh, kinda like me, I mean, who would understand the shit I've been through?]
[He's alone, too,] Zechs wondered, searching the wide, honest, blue-violet eyes captured in his gaze. [He *is* just like me, not connecting with anyone, wandering the colonies with little hope of changing that. There is no one we can find who could possibly understand us. Although if he wanted sex, he would have ample partners with those looks.]
The waiter arrived with their dinners; Zechs broke the gaze and the moment. Duo found he was famished, and tucked into his steak and baked potato eagerly. Zechs, he'd noted, had chosen a dinner of lesser proportions, and was eating rather more circumspect. [Watching his waist, I guess,] Duo thought, and had to admit that the former OZ Colonel had a hard, spare physique, even now.
[I was right, he's starved,] Zechs mused, eating slowly. Every once in a while he let his gaze linger over the young man's slender, muscled form. "So, Duo," he broke into the silence finally, "what have you been doing with yourself?"
"Huh?" Duo paused, his fork in mid-air, a huge piece of meat skewered on it. "Oh, ah, well, for a couple years I worked with the Sweepers, my old unit. Cleaning up space from all the war debris was a huge job, but even that ran out. I knocked around space ports for a few months, then started a string of odd jobs, you know, just enough to pay the rent and buy food once in a while. Nothing permanent, but I've liked it that way."
[So he's not looking to settle down...] "There's lots of work on Earth, I hear. Why don't you go there?"
Duo gave an expansive shrug, the long braid bouncing on his back. "Eh, I'm a spacer, what can I say? I still do some scavenging, like with those transmitters, and I do a lot of mechanic jobs, mostly on spacecraft. I just prefer outer space, I guess." For some reason, he was reminded of his Gundam Deathscythe. [I still miss my old buddy...]
Zechs narrowed his eyes, sensing a melancholy in the boy. "Something bothering you?"
"Me?" Duo brightened suddenly, giving him a wide, cocky grin. "Nah, nothing bothers me. I was just thinking of my Gundam. It was quite a machine. I guess I miss working on it or something."
[You little liar,] Zechs thought, reading everything Duo was leaving out. "There was an excitement in those days, you must admit, war or not." He thought of his own Tallgeese, a marvel of engineering in its own right, even if Zechs's skills had eventually surpassed it.
"Oh, hell, yes," Duo agreed readily, then finally popped the chunk of meat into his mouth. When he was mostly done chewing, he added, "I can't think of anything I've done since that has quite got the adrenaline running like piloting my Gundam, I admit."
"You've got that right," Zechs admitted, then chuckled. "Or even before that. The difference between a Leo and the Tallgeese or a Gundam was vast. You know, the first time I flew the Tallgeese, I ended up with a heart attack."
"No!" Duo was floored. He knew the Tallgeese, the precursor of the Gundams, was an awesome machine, but not that it was so strong. Among the Gundam pilots, only Heero and Trowa had ever fought against it. "How did *that* happen?"
Zechs took a sip of wine, relaxing. "While it didn't have quite the mind of its own like the Zero System, it nevertheless tried in its own mindless way to wrest control from the pilot, who had to maintain an extraordinary focus." A bleak note crept into his voice. "I was the only soldier in OZ capable of mastering it."
"Whoa," Duo murmured. He remembered all too well the awesome piloting abilities of Zechs Merquise. "No wonder you could master the Zero System, then."
Abruptly anger flared, and more self-contempt. "Yes," Zechs snapped, his eyes narrowed but unfocused, seeing something in the past, "If you call that mastery. I call it a mind control that I willingly gave myself over to in my foolish despair."
Duo gulped. "Barge," he murmured. The Epyon. He could see it again, the ferocious dark blood-red beast whipping through space, all power and speed, no match even for a couple Gundams. That Duo and Quatre had not died that day facing it had been a miracle. If it weren't for Zechs's distractions...
The anger flared again in the ice-blue eyes, but was immediately replaced by pain. "Yes," was all Zechs said, lost in his own horror.
[Oh, that was real smart, Maxwell,] Duo thought, chastising himself for his insensitivity. [The man's changed, and reminding him of his sins isn't what either of you need.] Impulsively he reached and laid his hand on Zechs's suit sleeve. "I'm sorry, Zechs, I shouldn't have brought that up."
Zechs put down his fork. He would not be eating anymore this evening. "You have every right to confront me for that day," he murmured. He took another sip of wine and looked away out a window of the restaurant, seeing nothing.
After a minute, Duo resumed eating, feeling funny, but still hungry. When he glanced up and saw that Zechs had put his own plate over on his side of the table, Duo frowned, but helped himself anyway to the remainder of the man's steak. It had been a very long time since he'd had a steak like this.
After about ten minutes, Duo gulped a mouthful of wine and blurted out, "Can I visit one of your orphanages with you tomorrow?"
Zechs turned his attention back to the slim young man suddenly. "Of course you may, but why?" [Why doesn't he hold me in contempt? I'd forgotten that this pilot had witnessed the destruction of Barge. What a demon I must have seemed...]
[Because I can't bear to let you walk out of my life already?] Duo thought, but would not say that. "Humor me, Zechs. I just want to. I mean, you're doing a good thing there. Maybe I could help." [What am I saying? Face it, Maxwell, you just want to hang around this guy as long as he lets you. What for, I have no idea, unless it's to get in his pants... yeah, right, like that could ever happen... man, he is just so beautiful and hot... damn...]
"That's... very generous of you, Duo," Zechs replied quietly, impressed. "Now, I must ask you a question."
"Hey, sure, anything," Duo flipped off, taking a swig of wine. [Ohhhh, this stuff's good...]
Zechs automatically refilled Duo's glass, not even thinking about it, the perfect host. "You do not seem to hold me in contempt, though I certainly have earned it. Why is that?"
Duo took another gulp of wine. He wasn't concerned about getting drunk; his constitution was hardier than that and he could drink most men twice his age under the table. He wondered if Zechs had a thought to getting him tipsy. "To be honest, I don't know. But it's clear to anyone with two eyes that you've repented of... those ways. And as I said before, you're doing good works to make up for it, at least as far as that goes. But I think it could be because of two people we both know."
"Who is that?" Zechs asked.
"Howard and Noin," Duo admitted, and shrugged in hopes of taking away the sting of those names. "I'm sorry to bring up more painful stuff, Zechs. Here you're buying me this wonderful meal and I keep talking about shit you'd rather forget."
The names had stung, yes. Zechs had winced, but recovered. "It's all right, Duo. But I would rather clear things between you and me as much as possible. I haven't had the chance to do this with anyone else." [And I am loath to part with you just yet, little pilot...]
"Okay... well, then if you don't mind, then I think it's a good thing, too," Duo replied seriously. "Okay, Howard... he'd repaired my Gundam on Earth and was an acquaintance of mine from before. But obviously he knew you..." Duo had a flash of insight. "Peacemillion was your ship, wasn't it?"
Zechs bowed his head. He'd searched for Howard - after - but the scientist would not be found... by him. And his single encounter with Noin had ended badly. He hadn't been able to convince her he felt nothing for her. "Yes, it was. For a brief time, Howard and I and the crew of that ship were the only other force in space besides the Gundams who were fighting OZ. I've always regretted deeply that I could not have teamed up with the Gundams in that endeavor at that time."
"Yeah, that might have saved some headaches later... whew!" Duo blew out his breath, shaking his head. "Anyway, Howard and Noin were pretty shook up when you took up with the White Fang... and, ah, issued your ultimatum. That told me that you weren't always... like that."
"Indeed, not." Zechs felt suddenly very tired. He didn't like to think about people who had been close to him whom he'd hurt badly. Especially Lucrezia Noin.
Duo looked upon the man beside him with compassion. "Well, perhaps that's enough running you through the mill for one night, eh?" he muttered. He was done with his meal, and just finished with his second glass of wine. "Zechs, thank you for dinner, it was really great. And it's been good talking to you." He hesitated, trying to gauge the other man's emotional state. "So... where's the..."
He never got to finish. Zechs, releasing a deep sigh, leaned over and kissed him, then placed long-fingered hands along each side of his face as he deepened the kiss. Duo froze for about a second, then as heat bloomed up his spine, gave into the kiss, yielding to it. The other man tasted so good! The kiss was warm and filled with longing, nothing forceful or desperate about it.
When Zechs broke the kiss, he was breathing hard. Unable as yet to look into those trusting blue-violet eyes, he kept his averted. "Duo, let me love you for this one night to help me forget for a brief time what a monster I am..." He still held onto the young man's face as if reluctant to lose his anchor.
"You're not a monster, Zechs," Duo murmured, also breathing deeply. "But if you want me..." [I can't believe I'm saying this... but, shit, I want him...] "You can have me."
"Do you mean that?" Zechs breathed with a bare tremor of need in his low voice.
There was a flicker of aching want that reached deep into Duo Maxwell at that sound. "Yes," he replied fervently, wondering what magic Zechs Merquise had worked in him... and thrilling that he had.