Disclaimer: The characters belong to Sotsu, Sunrise, Bandai Entertainment, I neither claim them nor certainly make any money off them!
Pairing: 6x2
Rating: Lemony in places
Time Setting: Post-series, three years later (minus events in Ground Zero, Blind Target, Endless Waltz as when I started this, I hadn't seen or read about these yet)
Summary: A chance meeting leads to the recovery of a wounded heart.
When Zechs exploded, Heero quickly revised his opinion of the "gentle man of peace.. "No, how COULD they?" the older man roared, shoving up onto his feet from the desk. "Taking money from children to build weapons! How dare they do that to the children!"
[Now I'm convinced,] Heero noted, relieved. [He's not concerned because it's his own money that's being squandered. Duo is right, Zechs is once again a good man. Good - I didn't want to kill him...]
"We'll do something about it," Duo hastily said, trying to grab Zechs's arm before he started throwing things, which he certainly appeared about to. "Heero will help us! We'll find whomever the Gardener is and stop him!"
Zechs, his face transformed by grief and anguish, looked down at the sweet, earnest face looking up at him so trustingly. He pulled his arm away, backing toward the door. "Don't you understand? I let them use me! I've done this! I did not watch my business closely enough, and they've been using me to build weapons of war!"
But before he could turn and disappear out the door, Duo grabbed both his upper arms and held on, not about to let him flee him for a third time. "Listen to me, Zechs! You shouldn't blame yourself for this!" He lowered the volume of his voice, glancing nervously at the door before looking back up at the stricken face of the taller man. "And we shouldn't be shouting - what if the children hear?"
"Let me go, Duo," Zechs rasped, his expression as haunted as either of the other two had ever seen it. "This place would be better off without me..."
"Not going to do that," Duo interrupted, growing truly frightened. [Something like this could push him over the edge,] he worried. "I won't let you harm yourself over this! You're not doing that to me, and you're sure as hell not doing it to the kids. Zechs, calm down and think!!" Duo didn't care that he wasn't much more calm himself. "Heero will help us solve this one, find out who did this, right, Heero?"
[So there is something between them,] Heero was idly noting. "Yeah, that's my job," he murmured, regarding the two impassively, his arms again crossed over his chest. "It does look like you were taken advantage of, Zechs. And let me guess... are there still elements of White Fang around?"
Zechs blanched. "Oh, God... I... I don't know." Again the wave of remorse and bitterness toward himself washed through his handsome countenance. "I don't even know how this could have happened." He looked into Duo's concerned gaze again. "Duo, let me go, please."
"Don't run... promise you're not going to run," Duo said more harshly than he'd intended to. "Zechs?"
The blond man nodded, grimacing with emotional pain. "I won't run..."
Duo released his grip on him. Zechs turned away, however, his head in his hands, trembling. [I've been betrayed, exploited! How can I possibly bear this?]
Biting his lip, Duo turned to Heero finally. "Okay, what can we do? We have to help him with this. You don't know this, Heero, but Zechs already has been beating himself up enough over the aftermath of the war, yeah, even now. Even though he's doing a very good thing here with the kids, he still thinks he's a monster of some kind." Duo pushed up his sleeves and scowled at the tall man. "I'm gonna get him to stop that kind of crazy thinking no matter what I gotta do."
Before Heero could respond, Zechs sighed deeply. "Oh, Duo, you're wasting your time with me..." he murmured.
"No, I'm *not*," Duo snapped definitively. "Don't you dare tell *me* I'm wasting my time!"
Heero raised his eyebrows at that statement. [Either they're already lovers or just best friends... I can't tell, but there's something here between them, that much is sure. Duo's so tenacious - I can see he'd be good for Zechs. And something tells me that when Zechs gives his heart, he really gives it...]
Zechs did not reply, still standing in half-profile to them, his eyes glistening with tears he would not permit himself. He hugged his arms to his chest as if trying to hold himself together. Likely he would not permit himself to be too vulnerable before Heero.
"Okay," Heero spoke up finally. "Zechs, I need to ask some more questions."
"Ask away," Zechs muttered, not looking at anything.
"Who developed your accounting system?"
Zechs closed his eyes. "I did. After we had it working successfully on C-125, we simply added terminals to the new facilities as they were built. The master program is still there. A contractor did the networking between the colonies through the usual resource satellite linkups." [And if I'd checked later...]
"Right," Heero murmured. "And who has access to the management of the master program?"
A deep sigh. "I left it in the care of the first administrator of the C-125 Peacegarden. She's since left the position. And you met the present administrator, Miss Lyons."
Duo looked from one to the other. [Man, someone did a neat stepping right around Zechs on this one. It could happen to anyone. But I'm not going to let him take the blame for it.] He hugged his arms to himself, standing a few feet away from the tall, sad man. [Maybe he'll let me just hold him later... he definitely needs hugging.]
"And she has access to change the passwords? Anyone else?"
"Passwords..." Zechs frowned and looked up. "No, she ought to be the only one."
"Then she knows something," Heero murmured. "Or she is behind this."
The ice-blue eyes peered at him beneath narrowed, white eyebrows. "Ginger? I can't believe it of her. She's a good woman, very caring. I hired her myself. She cares a lot for the children."
"Then someone could be pulling her strings," Heero offered with his customary scowl. "Or someone could be blackmailing her. Tell me, Zechs, do you know the whereabouts of any former White Fang members?"
All the blood drained out of Zechs's face at the suggestion that his past had finally returned to haunt him. "I... I did not know many personally. Only Quinze and a couple others. There were two lieutenants who'd accompanied him when I was first approached by them. One was his son Danzer, the other was a man named Unter. I... assume they had perished on Libra. Or had escaped. Did anyone go back to Libra to check for survivors?"
Heero nodded. "Yes. Lady Une's people did and reported that there were no remaining survivors. Although they could have escaped earlier."
"Quinze ordered an evacuation," Zechs murmured, grimacing. The memories, three years later, were still so painful. "They would have boarded shuttles and dispersed back to the colonies."
"Oh, man," Duo muttered, amazed. "So they certainly could have reorganized later back in the colonies.... but to what end? What do they want with mobile suits now?"
"Independence," Zechs replied quietly, turning away from both of them altogether. "There are some who will never trust management of the colonies from the Earth." He took a deep breath, then appeared to teeter momentarily. "They were my responsibility. I sought only to forget and atone, and I did not remain vigilant. No one else was in a better position to watch them than I. Again my self-absorption has risked harm to others."
In two steps, Duo had brushed past Heero to stand again before Zechs, reaching up in concern to touch him on the chest, looking up earnestly into the older man's eyes. "That doesn't matter, Zechs, it's past. You have to concentrate on now, on undoing this. And I'm gonna help you."
"Duo..." Zechs breathed. From where Heero stood, watching them, he could see the eyes of dead ice soften as Zechs looked into the cobalt depths of Duo Maxwell's avid gaze. Warmth bloomed, and trust, though the inner pain was still sharply evident. "Yes, I will undo this. But I cannot involve you."
"What?" Duo reacted as if struck. Zechs winced. "Whaddya mean you won't involve me?" He poked a finger hard against the broad chest. "Listen, you, it's too late to leave me out of this! I know..." Duo stopped his tirade, his gaze softening. "You know... how I feel about you. And I think I know how you feel about me..."
"I don't, I can't..." Zechs whispered harshly. He did not notice that Heero had slipped behind Duo and was at the door, intending to leave them alone. "You've been hurt enough already."
Heero glanced back at the tall man a final time. [I will tell Relena that her brother is a true Peacecraft after all,] he thought, dropping his gaze and turning the knob quietly. [I wouldn't have been able to kill him either way...] He went out silently, closing the door behind him.
"You're not going to hurt me," Duo was saying softly, rubbing at Zechs's chest lightly. "And I know you love me. So don't go denying it."
Zechs looked stricken for a brief moment, then quicksilver anger replaced the pain. He grabbed Duo by the shoulders and held him off firmly, though not roughly. "You little fool, you think you know me! You know nothing about the horror that is my wretched life. Don't you know that the one regular, guilty pleasure I allow myself is to be around those children, to let their pure hearts put bandages on my black soul? I should be far from them! My entire existence is swimming in the blood of those who either trusted me or meant nothing to me! Better I should cut you down right here where you stand than let my evil infect you, too!" He punctuated the threat with a shake of the slim shoulders in his grip.
Duo had faced worse threats and certainly had faced death often enough as a Gundam pilot. If anything, he was more in love with this passionate man, captured by the exquisite mixture of fire with gentleness. "Are you finished?" he said mildly with a note of irony a beat later, looking up into the twisted features.
The response was a grunt as Zechs gave him a last shake, then shoved him away. A wicked gleam stole into Duo's blue-violet eyes as he abruptly threw his arms around the man's neck and pulled him down into an enthusiastic kiss. He felt the shock shudder through the tall body and wondered for a terrible, thrilling moment if Zechs would actually hit him. Then the body relaxed against his, the older man automatically assuming control as he wrapped his long arms around him. [Got him *just* where I want him!] Duo thought gleefully.
Then Zechs was gently putting him off. To Duo's shock, there were tears on the man's golden cheeks. Zechs averted his eyes from him as he released him. "D...don't do that, please," he spoke in a harsh, broken whisper.
The intense pain in that beautiful voice and on that beautiful face effectively stabbed Duo in the heart, and he stumbled back from it, feeling a sudden wave of helplessness come over him. This time it was Duo who fled from Zechs.
He found a refuge in the garden underneath a tree, mostly hidden by a fragrant, flowering bush. The scent did not permeate his misery. Duo lay on his side, hugging his knees, battling the overwhelming emotion. [How? How could I ever hope to pierce his agony?] he thought, unaware of tears on his own cheeks. [I love him so much it hurts... his pain hurts me, too, now. But I want to feel his pain, despite his fear about hurting me! I want to feel it and take it away from him!]
He rolled to his other side, swiping at his eyes. [Shit, and now he's going to feel worse... why did I run? I've got to show him he can allow me in his life, that he needs me as much as I need him...] Duo remembered their one magic night, but what had seared his soul forever was not the shattering, gasping sex, but the tender touches and the gaze of those crystalline, ice-blue eyes looking at him with such awe. [Awe... he looked at me like I was beautiful or something...]
Duo covered his head with his arms and gave himself to his tears for a long, wrenching moment, careful not to sob out loud, though he was shaking. Then he uncurled and sat up, breathing deeply as he tried to recover some composure. Heero was possibly looking for him, and someone could come into the garden. Zechs... [I was a fool to leave him in that condition,] he berated himself, rocking as he hugged his knees again. [I'm so weak! I should be working with Heero to get those who stole from the orphans!]
"Papa Duo?" came a child's voice piercing like a bell through the darkened garden.
Aghast, Duo rubbed at his face then sat very still, hoping whoever it was would go away. But he had no such luck; it was Deener, and she came straight towards him.
"Shhhh," Duo said quickly in a stage-whisper, "don't tell where I am! I'm playing hide-n-go-seek with some of the other kids..."
"You are not, Papa Duo," the girl snapped as she pushed past the bush to his hiding place. "Everyone's in bed. I knew something was wrong!"
"Nah, actually I was taking a nap," Duo explained, wondering yet again how he could lie so easily to children. It wasn't like him! He jumped to his feet and brushed off his clothes, grateful that the semi-darkness hid his face.
Deener frowned at him, her hands on her hips. Then, inexplicably, she surged forward and literally threw herself against him, hugging him hard. "You're feeling sad for Papa Peace, aren't you? I can feel it!"
Duo gasped for she fairly knocked the wind out of him, but returned the hug, glad for a moment to have something to hang onto. "Can't get a thing past you, can I, Deener?" he said with an ironic snort. "Okay, I confess. You got me."
She tilted her little face up against his chest to look him in the eyes. "Are you in love with him, Papa Duo?"
[Shit, how the *hell* does she do that?] he wondered as he melted. "Ah, yeah, I am," Duo admitted, giving her a crooked smile. "But he's hurting too much to let me love him."
"I know," the girl replied in a half-sob. "Are you going to marry him some day? Please, Papa Duo, tell me you're going to marry him?" She spoke in a rush, barely taking a breath. "'Cause if you do, then you guys can adopt me..." Abruptly she stopped and pressed her face against his stomach, aghast that she'd told the young man her heart's dream.
Duo was stunned. Then he looked up to see Heero looking his way from across the garden, though because of the bush he wouldn't see the girl clinging to him.
"There you are," Heero said, gesturing. "Come on, we gotta leave for C-125. I've already got whatever we'll need, including equipment for you."
Duo gaped at the other boy, surprised. "What, we're going NOW? And I get to go?" He gently peeled Deener from him, patting her back in apology.
"He doesn't want to wait, and I don't either. And I need you to help protect him. I'm going to be busy enough without having to serve as his sole bodyguard."
[Oh, shit...] Duo flushed, feeling adrenaline pump into him at the prospect of a real mission, and one in which he got to help the man he loved to boot. "Right," he replied, feeling his body go into battle-preparedness mode. "Be there in a sec."
When Heero turned and left, Duo knelt down beside Deener, clasping her arms lightly. "Sweetie, I gotta go. There's some bad guys we gotta go take care of. You hold the fort here for us, okay?"
Deener nodded, her eyes huge and bright. "I love you, Papa Duo," she murmured and threw her arms around him a last time.
Duo sighed, feeling the ache again as he patted her hair gently. "I love you, too, Deener." Then he put her off. "Gotta go - wish us luck!"
The girl heaved a deep sigh as she watched him silently cross the garden, his long braid swaying in his wake.