Heero sat at his laptop, doing work. He watched Duo comb the tangles out of the length of chestnut hair. He pretended not to look at him when he raised his arms, lifting his towel ever so slightly, to braid his hair.
"Heero, you wanna go out tonight?"
"Hn." He didn't look up. Of course I don't want to go out. It's against the rules. Baka.
He pretended not to watch as Duo put on a pair of tight black jeans and a shirt that showed off his slender figure. He's so beautiful. I wish I were able to go out tonight. He pretended not to notice as the black-clad boy stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
At curfew, Duo still hadn't returned, and he knew there would be a check, so he shut the door to their toilet and left the light on.
A few moments later, there was a knock at the door and a head came in. "Lights out. Where's your roommate?"
"Bathroom."
Satisfied, the hall monitor left.
I feel your reflection
But you're a stranger to me
Heero sat at his laptop, waiting for his roommate to return. When the door opened and a breathless Duo entered, he asked, "Where were you last night?" He tried not to sound concerned. After all, Duo was only his roommate. Wasn't he?
"I didn't know you cared. And besides, it's none of your business."
"Don't do it again," he said, looking up from his laptop, which he was only pretending to use.
"Why not? Why do *you*, Mr Laptop, care what I do?" He grabbed his towel and soap. "Now, I need to go shower so I don't miss breakfast."
Heero stood up and walked over to him, grabbed him, and kissed him firmly. "You're mine," he said. He pretended it didn't hurt when Duo stormed out and went to shower.
I saw you staring back now
Your shadow right next to me
Heero took his seat in class, making sure to catch Duo's eye before sitting.
At lunch, Heero sat with Quatre and Trowa. "What's gotten into Duo lately? He's going out almost every night. And last night, he didn't come back."
"I don't know," Quatre said. "Maybe he's just bored, or rebelling, or something. He probably finds the rules restrictive."
Can you be my enemy, my disease
Looking through what's left of you to hold on to.
When Heero returned to his room that evening after kendo practice, he noted that Duo was gone. "Gone out again, have you?" he said to no one in particular. Why didn't he wait to ask me this time? Would I have gone? He shook his head. Of course not. Even if it weren't against the rules. Nightclubs just aren't my thing.
He repeated his ritual of covering for his reckless roommate at lights out.
When he woke up, the other bed was empty, and when he left for breakfast and class, the braided baka still hadn't returned.
When Duo ran into class seconds before the bell, Heero made sure to catch his eyes in a glare. You irresponsible idiot.
Drowning hold my head down under
Waiting you touch but you can't feel
Heero waited in their room. He knew Duo would have to some back sometime.
The door opened.
"Where have you been the last two nights?"
"None of your business."
Heero angrily grabbed Duo. "You are being irresponsible. You have school, homework. I'm sick of covering for your absence at curfew."
"Why do you care? It's not like you give a shit about me. You sit there typing on your god damned laptop. I try to be your friend. You don't want my friendship. At least you don't act like it." Heero felt the boy's arm break free of his grasp. "And you treat me like a lover sometimes. I'm not putting up with it, not one minute longer." Heero watched as Duo gathered some clothes.
What's he doing? He can't think he's going to move out.
"I'm finding a new roommate."
Heero pretended not to care as the end of a braid angrily snapped out the door before it slammed shut.
When Duo arrived in class, Heero glared at him until the teacher started class.
You want to break my silence
You know you have too much to lose.
As he walked from the class building back to his dorm, he heard familiar footsteps behind him.
"Heero. Can we talk a minute?"
"Whatever," he said with feigned nonchalance.
"Look, I'm doing this because I promised Quatre. He thinks we should talk, or something. Because of me moving out."
"I don't see why it matters. You moved out."
"I moved out because you are a selfish, arrogant bastard. You only take and take. I got sick of it. I found someone better. Someone who cares."
"Good for you." Yeah, great.
Duo started to walk away. Heero took hold of him. "Let me go, Heero."
He tightened his grip. "I'm selfish? What are you, then? You only think of what's fun, what you want to do. You don't care about other people's feelings."
You think that you're so holy
You think you're breaking me in two.
"That is not true, and you know it. I did everything I could to make you happy. I held my feelings back. You never expressed emotion to me. I broke. Now I've moved on. Deal with it."
Heero glared at the tall blond senior who approached. He glared even more when this blond put his arm around Duo's waist and said, "Let's go home."
Cover me in misery, in anything
I'm still here, you're still here, am I still here?
As Heero watched them walk away, he pretended not to care.
Drowning hold my head down under
Heero sat alone in the room, staring at the bed that was once occupied by a beautiful boy with a long chestnut braid. What does he have that I don't? Duo... His eyes filled with tears that he refused to allow to fall. He remembered the gentle touch of the few kisses they'd shared, how warm his body was, the softness of his skin. He stood up and walked to the bed that was now vacant. He lifted the pillow to his face and inhaled the honeysuckle scent of Duo's hair, remembering how it had felt when he had been enveloped in the chestnut cascade.
Waiting you touch but you can't feel
He lay down in the now-unoccupied bed, wanting to feel Duo next to him. He wrapped the sheets that still bore his scent around him, burying his face in the pillow. Why do I miss him so much? He drove me nuts. But he was so warm... so open. As he drifted to sleep, his thoughts were of the few nights they'd spent in the same bed. But I would always return to my own bed before I fell asleep...
Drown in silence, in my violence
Drown in silence, things are better left undone
Heero resolved to confront Duo. I need to do this.
"So you moved in with Zechs, huh? What makes him so special?"
Duo glared at him and continued eating his sandwich.
"I asked you a question." Heero's voice was not going to betray him; of that he was certain. He forced his best uncaring monotone.
"I heard it."
"Are you going to answer it?" Please.
"Why should I? When I was rooming with you, I couldn't tell what you wanted from me. Now you're acting like it's your business whom I sleep with?"
Can you be my enemy, my disease
Looking through what's left of you to hold on to
Drowning hold my head down under
Waiting you touch but you can't feel.
Heero glared. "I said you were mine, dammit." Wow, that sounded incredibly stupid.
"When? When you started thinking you might lose me? When you realized I wasn't just going to take your silence anymore? Yeah, your silence. Zechs talks to me. He has emotions, and he shows them. Novel concept, I thought. I'm with him now. Anything we had is over, Heero."
"You're right. I guess we have nothing more to say to each other." With that, Heero turned and walked away, taking a seat across the cafeteria. He poked at his sandwich disinterestedly, but he ate it all eventually. He's gone. Gone. I never thought... Yeah, you never thought. You never thought he might not put up with it. You took his presence for granted. He tried to ignore the voice berating him for taking the beautiful braided boy for granted, but found himself unable to.